Hope For The Holidays

“Hope is putting faith to work when doubting would be easier.” 

Honestly? The holidays are really hard for me. There’s something special about holiday memories. They seem brighter, sweeter, and happier than any other memory. So during this season I find myself wishing more than usual for those happy times back.

No matter how many silly excuses I make to friends “the parties are crowded and boring,” “I don’t like the music,” “the food is the same every year,” those are not the real reasons.

The reason I hate going to these parties is because everytime I’m there, I keep seeing a face that’s not there, hearing a laugh that belongs, but, oh wait, it doesn’t belong here. I keep turning the corners expecting to see a familiar group of friends, to hear someone call out for a good game of midnight hide and seek. I hate singing the cantatas at church because, well, my beautifully tone-deaf “sisters” are not there to sing oh so close to me. Our heads aren’t bent together, trying to sing those glorious notes, in front of happily familiar faces. I dread the long Thanksgiving festivities, because at the end of the day, it’s just us. There’s no call to come over to share in secret stuffing, or a last minute pumpkin carving party.

I’ve given up trying to explain these things to friends. It’s easier to make silly excuses and stick to them, than to explain that going to that party just hurts my heart so very bad.

I know that these things get easier with time. I know it personally, but these holidays still are just so hard. It seems at the end of every long week I find myself in tears, missing, longing, and hurting. But I am trying my hardest to look up. To see that even through these extremely difficult days, God is still above it all. One of my favorite words is hope. At the beginning of my senior year I wrote H-O-P-E in big letters in my workbook, along with the definition. ”Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark.” Hope is choosing to have faith, even in the dark. I cannot hope in this world. I cannot hope that maybe this year will be better. I am choosing to cry out, as the Psalmist did, “hope thou in God!”

David had a lot to be sad about. We have a saying in our family that “even David had bad birthdays” David cried out to God and said “Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me?” Yet he was able to say “hope thou in God” in the midst of his suffering. Right now I am choosing to look above the circumstances of life, with hope in a God who heals, who restores, and redeems.

 ”Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.”

Christmas Preparations

I L-O-V-E Christmas. I love the lights, the decorations, the fellowship, the colors, but most of all the suprises. Some people love getting presents, and while I love gettings things I’ve hoped for, needed, or are plain suprising, I LOVE giving. I love every part of gift giving. I save, plan, and then research around trying to find the best deals on the gifts I’ve decided on. Once everything is finally ready and ordered I run over to the dollar store and pick out my paper and ribbons. You should have seen me this year, I spent forever thinking and looking at all the different options, and when we finally got home I turned to my family and said “I LOVE my wrapping paper, guys!!!!!” Then I carefully wrap each present and set it aside. This year all my presents were wrapped and done by November 1st. Now I can’t WAIT to give them! Here are a couple pictures I took while wrapping this up…and remember, no peeking!  

Photography Sale

I just wanted to let everyone know that I’ve posted an announcement about my photography business sale of prints on Pebbles of Joy. They would make great Christmas gifts, so please check it out!